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- ck Knock Who's there ! Blood ! Blood who ? B1
- ck Knock Who's there ! Blue ! Blue who ? Blu2
- ck Knock Who's there ! Blur ! Blur who ? Blu3
- ck Knock Who's there ! Bo ! Bo who ? Bo Gest4
- ck Knock Who's there ! Bobby ! Bobby who ? B5
- ck Knock Who's there ! Boiler ! Boiler who ? 6
- ck Knock Who's there ! Boise ! Boise who ? B7
- ck Knock Who's there ! Bolivia ! Boliva who ?8
- ck Knock Who's there ! Bologna ! Bologna who 9
- ck Knock Who's there ! Bolton ! Bolton who ? 10
- ck Knock Who's there ! Bolzano ! Bolzano who 11
- ck Knock Who's there ! Bond ! Bond who ? Bon12
- ck Knock Who's there ! Bones ! Bones who ? B13
- ck Knock Who's there ! Bonnie ! Bonnie who ? 14
- ck Knock Who's there ! Bootie ! Bootie who ? 15
- ck Knock Who's there ! Borg ! Borg who ? Bor16
- ck Knock Who's there ! Boris ! Boris who ? B17
- ck Knock Who's there ! Bosnia ! Bosnia who ? 18
- ck Knock Who's there ! Bossy ! Bossy who ? B19
- ck Knock Who's there ! Bowl ! Bowl who ? Bow20


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Losowy SMS:
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote? A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

. Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote? A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 112


. Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain? A: After a dye job.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 69


. Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH? A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 111


. Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning? A: It swells at night.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 90


. Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? A: She moved.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 104


. A blonde suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment that same day, with the gun in hand. Sure enough, when she opens the door, she finds her boyfriend in the arms of a redhead. She points the gun at her boyfriend at stares him down for a moment. Then, suddenly, she's overcome with grief, so she puts the gun up to the side her head. Her boyfriend screams, "Honey, don't do it..." The blonde yells back, "Shut up! You're next!"

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(blonde): 523


. A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a Coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeding out drinks. Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go. The blonde turns around and shouts, "Can't you see I'm winning!"

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(blonde): 481


. One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Would you mind coming over and helping me out with this killer jigsaw puzzle I bought -- I can't figure out how to get started." Her friend asks, "What's the puzzle of?" "From the picture on the box, I'd guess it's a tiger," replied the blonde. The friend obliges, and when he arrives the blonde greets him at the front door and then shows him the puzzle spread out all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box. Then, he turns to her and says, "I'm afraid that no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of the tiger on the box." "Why not?" asks the disappointed blonde. "Because, you didn't buy a jigsaw puzzle... what you have here is a box of Frosted Flakes."

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(morning): 866


. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island. One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie. The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one." The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home." POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family. Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too." POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family. The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?" The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(blonde): 870


. A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts. A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" "Why, officer?" asks the blonde. "Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed." "Oh my goodness," exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus!"

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(blonde): 392


. Q. Why was the blonde in the tree? A. Because she was raking up the leaves!

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 78


. A blonde comes home from a day of shopping and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls the fire department on her cell phone. "Please state the nature of your emergency," says the operator. "Help! My house is on fire!" the blonde replies. "Okay, where do you live?" "In a house you silly billy!" the blonde replies. "No,no! How do we get there?" the operator asks fustratedly. "Duh! Big Red Truck!!"

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(blonde): 432


. One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disney Land. When they saw a sign that said 'Disney Land left' they turned around and went home.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(day): 142


. A blonde goes into a Best Buy. She asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing and again the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV - it's a microwave."

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(blonde): 750


. A. Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms? Q. They think their picture is being taken.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 104


. A man was trimming his bushes. His neighbor (the blonde) walks out, checks her mail only to see that it's empty, and goes back inside. Five minutes later, she comes back out, checks her mail again only to see that it's still empty, and goes back in. The third time she comes out, the man asks her, "Excuse me, is there a problem?" The blonde replies, "Darn right there's a problem! My computer keeps on telling me 'I've got mail'!"

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(man): 456


. Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theater? They went to see "Closed for Winter".

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(you): 157


. Q. What is eternity? A. When 4 blondes meet at a 4-way-stop-sign-intersection!

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 81


. Q. What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios? A. Donut seeds.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 85


. Q. What is the fastest way to get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? A. Wave at her.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 88


. A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde a dded, "it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(blonde): 1008


. A blonde was going on a plane trip to New York. When the attendant came by and asked for her ticket, she told the blonde,"I'm sorry. Your ticket isn't for first class. Could you please move to your seat." The blonde replied,"Im blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York." The attendant said,"That's fine miss, but you'll have to go to your seat." The blonde responded again, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York." This conversation continued, always with the blonde's same response. The attendant got so upset that she went to the captain and told him about the blonde. The captain went and whispered something in the blonde's ear and the blonde immeadiately got up and went to her seat in coach. The attendant asked the captain how he got the stubborn blonde to move. He said, "I just told her that this part of the plane wasn't going to New York."

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(blonde): 923


. Q. If a blonde and a brunette were falling off a building, who would hit the ground first? A. The brunette because the blonde would stop for directions.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 159


. Q. What is a brunette between two blondes? A. An interpreter.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 64


. Q. Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her shoes? A. To remind her that "toes go in first."

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 93


. One day a blonde, red-head, and a brunette were driving through the desert when all of a sudden their car broke down. They decided they would all walk to civilization. The red-head said, "I'm going to take water so if I get thirsty I can drink it." Then the brunette said, "I'm going to take some food so if I get hungry I can eat." And then the blonde said "I'm going to take the car door, so if I get hot, I can roll the window down!"

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(day): 460


. One day there was a blonde riding a horse. The horse kept going faster and faster until the blonde fell off, with her foot getting stuck in the stirrup. Hearing her screams for help, finally a Wal-Mart clerk came over and turned off the merry-go-round.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków( day): 268


. A blonde walks into a hair salon to get her hair cut wearing headphones. The stylist asks her to take off her headphones but the blonde refuses. So the stylist takes them off and the blonde collapses to the ground and dies. The stylist picks up the headphones and hears, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(blonde): 344


. A blonde was swimming. She swam deeper and deeper until she drowned. Her husband came home and found her dead in the bathtub.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(blonde): 132


. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead were standing in a line before a firing squad. The commander says, "READY, AIM" and the brunette yells "TORNADO!" All the people turned around and looked and the brunette ran away. Next, it's the redhead's turn. The commander says, "READY, AIM" and the redhead yells "HURRICANE!" Once again all the people turn around to look for the hurricane and the redhead runs away. Finally, it's the blonde's turn. The commander says, "READY, AIM" and the blonde yells "FIRE!" and gets shot.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(brunette): 547


. Q. What do you call a blonde who dies her hair brown? A. Artificial intelligence.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 86


. There's a brunette standing in the middle of a street jumping up and down, counting "57, 57, 57." A blonde walks up to her and decides that this game could be fun. She asks the brunette if she can play too and the brunette says, "Sure." So the two jump up and down counting "57, 57, 57." Suddenly, the brunette jumps onto the curb and the blonde gets hit by a truck. The brunette goes back into the street and starts jumping again, counting "58, 58, 58."

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(a): 480


. Q. Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? A. So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 108


. Q. What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket? A. A rebel without a clue!

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 81


. Q. What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A. The 1995 Hide and Seek World Champion.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 93


. Q.Why did the blonde get thrown out of the M & M factory? A. She kept throwing out all the W's.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(why): 100


. One day while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny. The blonde giggled and replied, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(day): 738


. A redhead, a brunette and a blonde all escape from a prison together. They run into the nearby woods and all climb up seperate trees. When the police find the redheads tree and ask who is up there, the redhead chirps like a bird. Then the police go to the brunette's tree. When they ask who is up there, the brunette makes chipmunk noises. Finally, when the police go to the blonde's tree and ask who is up there, the blonde goes,"MOOOOOOOOOO!"

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(redhead): 468


. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a deserted island together. The island is 20 miles from the nearest inhabited island so they all decide to try to swim there. The redhead makes it 10 miles, is exhausted, gives up, and drowns. The brunette makes it 15 miles before she's too tired to go any farther and drowns. The blonde gets 19 miles away from the deserted island, decides she's too tired to go any farther, and swims all the way back to the deserted island.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(blonde): 506


. Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? A. You can park in the handicap zone.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 86


. Q. How did the blonde die ice-fishing? A. She was run over by the zambonis machine.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 88


. Q. What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear? A. "Thanks for the refill!"

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 84


. Q. Why do blondes have more fun? A. They are easier to keep amused.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 70


. Q. Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall? A. To see what was on the other side.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 89


. Q. How do you drown a blonde? A1. Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool. A2. Stick a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 144


. Q. Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished the jigsaw puzzle after only 6 months? A. Because on the box it said: From 2-4 years.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 149


. Q. What did the blonde say when she knocked over a priceless Ming vase? A. "It's okay Daddy, I'm not hurt."

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 112


. Q. How do you confuse a blonde? A. Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner.

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 101


. Q. How do blonde brain cells die? A. Alone

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 45


. One day, a blonde and her friend were walking through the park. Suddenly, the blonde's friend said, "Oh, look, a dead birdie!" The blonde looked up and said, "Where?"

Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(day): 174



Mamy nadzieję, że Enion dotrzyma danej obietnicy

Listy. Zamiast dziurawych, szukajmy równych ulic

Podejrzana zwartość damskiej torebki
Drogie Panie, zanim wybierzecie się na zakupy, sprawdźcie dokładnie swoje torebki. Okazuje się bowiem, że to, co w nich nosicie, może wzmóc czujność sklepowej ochrony.
Motocykle wyprzedzą karetki ratunkowe
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/8/7652/z7652458M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Ratownicy na motocyklach już niebawem pojawią się na ulicach Krakowa. Porozumienie w tej sprawie podpisali wojewoda małopolski i prezes Fundacji R2 skupiającej ochotników.

Losowy


- do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon1
- did the judge say when the skunk was on trial2
- is the feeling that you've smelled a certain 3
- do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl? A 4
- do you call a flying skunk? A smellicopter!5
- happened to the skunk who failed his swimming 6
- did one skunk say to another? And so do you!7
- unk family had two little skunks they called In 8
- do reindeer say before telling you a joke ? 9
- is a reindeer like a gossip ? Because they are 10
- would you get four reindeer in a car? Two in 11
- 's the difference between a reindeer and a sno12
- do you call the reindeer with one eye higher 13
- has antlers, pulls Father Christmas' sleigh and14
- do you get if you cross a hedgehog with a gir15
- 's black and white and makes a lot of noise? 16
- do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape m17
- h is the most dangerous animal in the Northern18
- do you weigh a whale? On Whale Weigh Scales.19
- is the best advice to give a worm? Sleep late20
- mily of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice 21
- within a forest a little turtle began to clim22
- e once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle d23
- 's black and white, stinks and hangs from a li24
- did the slug say as he slipped down the windo25



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  • Statystyki

    Dowcipy angielskie: 11900

    - stops a man for running a stop sign and the s1
    - e Tommy's kindergarten class was on a field trip2
    - y was filling her tank at a gas station, smoki3
    - was driving when a policeman pulled him over. 4
    - ffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for ex5
    - guy walked into a little corner store with a s6
    - ay there was a woman who lost her cat named "L7
    - iceman spots a woman driving and knitting at the8
    - e Chief: As a recruit, you'll be faced with so9
    - was an inebriated driver who was pulled up by10
    - cent trade talks the American representative off11
    - year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up t12
    - op got out of his car and the kid, that was st13


    News


    Podejrzana zwartość damskiej torebki
    Drogie Panie, zanim wybierzecie się na zakupy, sprawdźcie dokładnie swoje torebki. Okazuje się bowiem, że to, co w nich nosicie, może wzmóc czujność sklepowej ochrony.
    Motocykle wyprzedzą karetki ratunkowe
    <img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/8/7652/z7652458M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Ratownicy na motocyklach już niebawem pojawią się na ulicach Krakowa. Porozumienie w tej sprawie podpisali wojewoda małopolski i prezes Fundacji R2 skupiającej ochotników.
    Inżynierowie na targach pracy
    Prawie 40 firm zaprezentowało się na zakończonych wczoraj w Krakowie XII Inżynierskich Targach Pracy. Odwiedziło je blisko 8 tys. studentów.
    Zmarł dominikanin, ojciec Joachim Badeni
    <img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/4/4633/z4633834M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>W wieku 97 lat w Krakowie zmarł w czwartek ojciec Joachim Badeni - dominikanin, współtwórca duszpasterstwa akademickiego Beczka, znany m.in. ze wspomnieniowych książek, poruszających tematy teologiczne i egzystencjalne. Do śmierci mieszkał w krakowskim klasztorze dominikanów.
    Pobił dostawcę pizzy, gdy otrzymał rachunek
    <img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/3/7430/z7430903M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>W środę na jeden z krakowskich komisariatów policji zgłosił się 20-letni dostawca pizzy. Powiedział policjantom, że około południa pojechał z zamówioną pizzą pod wskazany adres. Gdy zadzwonił do drzwi z mieszkania wyszedł mężczyzna. 20-latek podał mu pizzę i wręczył rachunek. Wtedy mężczyzna uderzył go pięścią w głowę i zatrzasnął drzwi.
    Szwecja wyda Andersa Högströma
    <img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/8/7501/z7501638M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Anders Högström - Szwed podejrzany o podżeganie do kradzieży napisu „Arbeit macht frei", zostanie wydany Polsce.
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