Losowy
- ecruit examines the food served to him in the 1
- s is the difference between a lousy Golfer and2
- her Murphy walked into a pub and said to the f3
- soldier keeps a mug upside down and tells the s4
- eneral calls a colonel: - Do you have a coupl5
- "What has an IQ of 42?" A: "40 Marines plus 6
- "Why does the Navy put Marines on board ships?7
- "Why do the commodes in Marine barracks have t8
- story goes that Air Force One was over the UK9
- How many British navy Officers does it take to10
- how many vietnam vets does it take to screw in11
- How many Honor Guards does it take to screw in a12
- How many U.S marines does it take to screw in 13
- How many Pentagon procurement officers does it t14
- How many military information officers does it15
- ing the Vietnam War, a hillbilly soldier shot 16
- estroyer pulled into a foreign port, and put dow17
- rt-sighted sarge: "Attention! You also, you li18
- When the general comes, report to me immediatel19
- raftee went in for his physical wearing a trus20
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| Kategoria SMS- 0 |
Losowy SMS: Three friends -- two straight guys and a gay guy -- and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned. They each had to come before St. Peter to be admitted into heaven. First came one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. "I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny." Then came the second straight guy. "Sorry, can't let you in, either." said St. Peter. "You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!" The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously... "It's not looking good for us Dick." 1. What's the difference between Windows
95 and a
virus?
A virus does something. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(the): 83 2. Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM,
SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red
light. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 113 3. What's the difference
between Windows 95 and a virus?
A virus does something. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(the): 83 4. Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM,
SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red
light. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(): 113 5. The officer shouted
orders to a
nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran
directly onto
the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a
dispatch
case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to
safety.
"Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for a
medal. You
risked your life to save the locations of our secret
warehouses."
"Warehouses?" the private shouted. "I thought you said
whorehouses!" Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(officer): 471 6. "I was married 3 times" explained
the man to a newly discovered
drinking partner, "and I'll never
marry again. My first 2 wives died
of eating poison mushrooms and my
3rd wife died of a fractured skull."
"That's a shame." said his
friend , "How did it happen?"
"She wouldn't eat the
mushrooms!" Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(i): 316 7. What's the speed limit of
sex?
68; at 69 you have to turn around. Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(the): 68 8. What did the egg say to the
boiling water?
"How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got
laid a minute
ago." Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(did): 126 9. A ragged individual stranded for several months
on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day
noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it.
Rushing to
the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands
withdrew the
message.
"Due to lack of maintenance," he read,
"we regretfully have found it
necessary to cancel your e-mail
account." Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(ragged): 407 10. This customer comes into
the computer
store. "I'm looking for a mystery Adventure Game with
lots of graphics.
You know, something really challenging."
"Well," replied the
clerk, "Have you tried Windows 98?" Prześlij na email | Liczba znaków(customer): 220 1 |
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Dzielnica Zamoście będzie jednym, wielkim zabytkiem?
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/0/7647/z7647240M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>- Wpisanie Zawarcia do rejestru zabytków to jedyna szansa na zmianę - przekonywali konserwatora zabytków mieszkańcy dzielnicy. Ten, zaskoczony, uprzedzał, że ochrona konserwatorska może być uciążliwa.
Niespodzianka w GTPS: Stanulewicz nowym trenerem
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/8/3426/z3426438M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Gorzowscy siatkarze maja od środy nowego szkoleniowca. Prowadzącego ekipę GTPS od lipca 2008 r. Sławomira Gerymskiego zastąpił gorzowianin Andrzej Stanulewicz.
Pomysł na Lubuskie: innowacje, granica, oświata
Zespół prof. Grzegorza Gorzelaka ma rok na przygotowanie spójnej strategii rozwoju województwa. Zdaniem ekonomisty i regionalisty najważniejsze dla Lubuskiego będą innowacje. - Bez nich region zawsze będzie biedny - przekonuje
W Gorzowie nie oddajemy długów na czas. "Poczeka abonament, rodzina. Alimenty już nie"
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/4/6313/z6313684M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Finansiści ostrzegają: mamy ogromny problem z oddawaniem długów. Co 16. mieszkaniec ociąga się ze zwrotem pożyczki. Gorzów znalazł się w czołówce najgorszych miast w Polsce. Gorzej z oddawaniem długów jest tylko w Olsztynie i Katowicach.
Losowy
- did the dog's owner think his dog was a great 1
- did the thoughtful father buy his six children a2
- didn't the dog play cards on his ocean cruise?3
- do dogs turn around three times before lying d4
- does a d dog scratch himself? He is the only on5
- doesn't a dog ever have a nose 12 inches long?6
- is a dog like a baseball player? He runs for ho7
- is a dog so warm in Summer? He wears a coat a8
- was the mother flea so unhappy? All her childre9
- d you rather have a 300-pound dog chase you or 10
- is a dog with a lame leg like adding 6 and 7s?11
- og is great at math. Really ? Ask him how mu12
- n and his son were shovelling the driveway aft13
- workers were discussing how smart their dogs 14
- ught a dog the other day... I named him Stay. It15
- front door was accidentally left open and our 16
- dog is a cousin to the Dalmatian? A spot-we17
- I spotted a Dalmatian! No need to, it already18
- do you call a boring dog? A dull-mation!19
- did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a me20
- kind of dog is a person's best friend? A palm21
- is it hard for Chihuahuas to type on a keyboard?22
- are you going to pay the Chihuahua who helped 23
- kind of computers do chihuahuas like best? Lap24
- does a Chihuahua play basketball with? A tenni25
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Cze8
- yer named Strange died, and his friend
asked the9
- al United Way office realized that it had
never
10
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lawyer?
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News
Pomysł na Lubuskie: innowacje, granica, oświata
Zespół prof. Grzegorza Gorzelaka ma rok na przygotowanie spójnej strategii rozwoju województwa. Zdaniem ekonomisty i regionalisty najważniejsze dla Lubuskiego będą innowacje. - Bez nich region zawsze będzie biedny - przekonuje
W Gorzowie nie oddajemy długów na czas. "Poczeka abonament, rodzina. Alimenty już nie"
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/4/6313/z6313684M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Finansiści ostrzegają: mamy ogromny problem z oddawaniem długów. Co 16. mieszkaniec ociąga się ze zwrotem pożyczki. Gorzów znalazł się w czołówce najgorszych miast w Polsce. Gorzej z oddawaniem długów jest tylko w Olsztynie i Katowicach.
PO: Jak poznaniacy wytrącili gorzowianom wyborczy oręż z ręki
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/5/7643/z7643125M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Poznańska PO w wyborach samorządowych poprze Ryszarda Grobelnego, który czeka na wyrok sądu. Tym samym partyjnym kolegom w Gorzowie wytrąciła z rąk najsilniejszą broń w walce z oskarżonym Tadeuszem Jędrzejczakiem. Już nie mogą powiedzieć: zamieszani w afery nie mogą kandydować na prezydenta.
Byliśmy wśród gwiazd razem z trenerem Maciejewskim [ZDJĘCIA]
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/7/7645/z7645917M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Piąty Mecz Gwiazd Euroligi przeszedł do historii. Europa pokonała w Gdyni Resztę Świata, ale tak naprawdę wszyscy byliśmy zwycięzcami, bo po imprezie pozostało masę niezapomnianych wrażeń.
Groźny wypadek koło Strzelec Kraj. 18-latka jest nieprzytomna
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/9/5956/z5956459M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Dwie osoby trafiły do szpitala w Drezdenku, po wypadku do którego doszło w miejscowości Ługi. Samochód wpadł w poślizg i uderzył w słup. Jechał za szybko, asfalt był oblodzony.
„Rozpłaszcz się, aby napić się piwa”. Archiwa kuriozalne na wystawie [WIDEO]
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/6/7645/z7645976M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>W Bibliotece Herberta od dziś można oglądać wystawę Dwa oblicza archiwów. Co kryją archiwa - kurioza w archiwach państwowych.